What is Happiness and How To Feel Happy

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Happy is a feeling of joy, pleasure, or good fortune

        Happiness is Not: Feeling Good All The Time  If feeling good all the time were our only requirement, then the answer would be “yes.” However, an even-keeled mood is more psychologically healthy than a mood in which you achieve great heights of happiness regularly, after all, what goes up must come down. Furthermore, when you ask people what makes their lives worth living, they rarely say anything about their mood. They are more likely to cite things that they find meaningful, such as their work or relationships. If you focus too much on trying to feel good all the time, you’ll actually undermine your ability to feel good at all—in other words, no amount of feeling good will be satisfying to you, since what you expect (all the time) isn’t physically possible for most people.

Make Your Life Happier With This Tips.
If you want to know how to be happy, meditation is a good place to start. Spend 10-30 minutes each morning meditating and you’ll notice an improvement in well-being and a healthier life perspective. Meditation relaxes you and helps you connect with the mind, body and spirit. You can incorporate gratitude in your meditation, listen to soft music or think positive thoughts. Meditation is also associated with lower stress.

Change Your Perspective
The simple act of listing three good things that happened that day increased happiness and decreased depressive symptoms. Furthermore, putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and avoiding a pessimistic outlook really can make you feel better about your situation. Perhaps most interestingly, a change in view can have a really big impact on your overall happiness.
It’s known that “the bad stuff” often outweighs the good in our minds, so psychologists like Timothy Wilson have suggested how perspective changes can help us out when times get rough:

Eliminate roadblocks
Roadblocks are obstacles that stand between where you are today and where you want to be. A negative environment and negative people are two examples of roadblocks that limit your potential. The first step to more happiness is to identify the roadblocks in your life. The second step is to find paths around, over and through the roadblocks in your life. You may not be able to eliminate every roadblock, but you can work to minimize the threat.

Be Proactive About Your Relationships
This applies to all relationships, but especially with your significant other. Plenty of evidence to suggest that many relationships (especially marriages) decline over time.
So what can you do?
How would a neutral third party view your relationship recently?
Oftentimes a relationship can go sour if you let it go on autopilot, and there are few things worse for happiness than losing a close companion.
Regularly check-in with good friends around 2 weeks for very close friends.
Celebrate the good things in their life; let them know through active and constructive listening.
Don’t be a conversational narcissist. People love hearing themselves talk and talking about themselves, so let them. Taking care of yourself is apart of taking care of others. In this way, your mutual dedication to improving yourself benefits both of you.

Treat Yourself (the Small Pleasures Matter)
Jokes aside about treating yo’ self, surprisingly, the research has shown that you need to have small wins along the way in order to be truly happy, across many different domains, happiness is more strongly associated with the frequency than the intensity of people’s positive effective experiences.
Regular small pleasures had a bigger impact on happiness than fewer larger ones. Perhaps this is why it’s often so difficult to put off what we want now for what we want later, so beware of the trap here: tough accomplishments that have to be earned oftentimes result in a happier day-to-day.
In what is one of the funniest excerpts I’ve ever stumbled on in a psychology book, Stumbling on Happiness shares this excerpt from a study that shows why the happiest people often only had 1 sexual partner in the past 12 months:
Why would people who have one partner be happier than people who have many? One reason is that multiple partners are occasionally thrilling, but regular partners are regularly enjoyable. A bi-weekly ride on a merry-go-round may be better than an annual ride on a roller coaster.
Clearly a little treat and consistency now and then can go a long way for your happiness while you make plans for your big goals.

Observe Happiness in Others
This one was really interesting. Most of us like to think we are unique snowflakes, but sometimes things are popular for a reason. In fact, research suggests that the best way to predict how much we will enjoy an experience is to see how much someone else enjoyed it.
Women were able to reduce the inaccuracy of predicting how much fun they’d have on a speed date by reading a rating left by a previous women. In other words, learning about someone else’s experience is a far better way for us to internally evaluate if we will enjoy it as well.

Be Busy, but Not Rushed
Feeling “rushed” is a one-way street to stress and unhappiness, it also notes that less and less people can find that happy medium of being just busy enough.
It seems strange that being very productive would cause one to be happy. Balanced free time is key, as too much boredom can be burdensome, strive for a productive life at a comfortable pace.
Often in finding this balance, you’ll have to find out how to say “no” to things.
For things that you aren’t obligated to do: it either needs to be a “Hell Yeah!” or a simple “No.” That is, if an opportunity comes across your plate (and the more you branch out, the more things will), you need to either be gung-ho about the idea, or you’ll need to say ‘no’ to it.

Focus on your strengths
It’s human nature to focus on your weaknesses, but as I explain in The Lemonade Life, focus your time and energy on your strengths. No one is perfect. Spending time trying to build up every weakness will only lead to frustration. It’s an impossible task to be good at everything. Instead, focus on your core strengths and direct them toward seizing opportunities. This is one of the most effective ways for how to be happy. You will feel more accomplished, more balanced and less frustrated.

Look for the good in things
It’s easy to see the bad and the downside. Instead, focus on the positive. Look for the silver linings, which are the good things in life. The best books on happiness recommend cultivating positive thoughts: the more you look for the good things, the less stress and negative thinking you can experience.

Do it with kindness
Work can be demanding. Life can be demanding. In the race to “get it done,” it can be easier to rush. However, there’s always time to do it with kindness. Treat people respectfully. Empathy at home, at work and in life is essential to understand others and understand the human condition.

Exercise releases endorphins, which can help create a state of euphoria. Research shows that a 15-minute jog can help reduce depression. Spending time exercising –particularly in nature – can not only improve heart health, but also mental health, happiness and well-being.

Choose your friends wisely
Find friends who lift you up, not who tear you down. Their positive or negative energy will directly impact the person you become.

Have Some Close Relationships
Relationships are the most important thing  when it comes to overall life satisfaction, at least for most people. Having a close group of people in your life can keep you happy for life, it can also help you live longer.
When someone claims to have five or more friends with whom they can discuss important problems, they are 60 percent more likely to say that they are ‘very happy’.
I’ve yet to see any compelling evidence that more friends equal happier, because after all, the quality of the people in your life matters the most, just be sure to acknowledge that there are many friends to be made, and maintaining a small circle can go a long way in making you a happy person.

Have a core set of values
We also know what it means to have good values. To find happiness, list your values on a piece of paper. Visualizing is a good start, but it will help solidify your set of values when you record them. A core set of values is a great way for how to be happy because it reminds you of the principles and ideals to which you subscribe.

Find your life purpose
Why are you here? How do you create impact? When you know your life purpose, you will know how to be happy because you have a life worth living because you understand why you do what you do. You have direction. You have grounding. You have something you are working toward or someone you are working to inspire.

Think of Yourself Less
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
Our self-esteem is a bit of a tricky topic, because current research on self-esteem paints a very inconsistent picture: it seems that high self-esteem is certainly related to happiness, but it can produce other problems with the ego.
For instance, self-esteem that is bound to external success can be a fickle beast,  certain students who tied their self-esteem to their grades experienced small boosts when they received an acceptance letter, but harsh drops in self-esteem when they were rejected.
Indeed, similar findings were reported for those who base their self-esteem on career success and appearance. Conversely, those who do not tie their self-esteem as strongly to external motivators tend to have less of a “roller coaster” of emotions to the things that happen to them, and are generally more happy as a result.
Perhaps the most insidious danger of high self-esteem is that it can lead to a focus on the avoidance of failure over the quest for success, which can cause a mindset that “protects” the self-esteem by self-handicapping so one isn’t ever seen as a failure.
Don’t think less of yourself as a person, but think of yourself less, focusing more on betterment of yourself for the sake of those around you, rather than for your own ego.

In fact, happiness does have a pretty important role in our lives, and it can have a huge impact on the way we live our lives. Although researchers have yet to pin down the definition or an agreed-upon framework for happiness, there’s a lot we have learned in the last few decades.

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