Facts and Truths about Marriage That You Never Know

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Hard Truths about Marriage

      The statistics of marriage rates are down, divorce rates are up, and over time people become more and more dissatisfied in their marriages. Never in human history have human beings expected so much from good partners. Monogamy is the rule, but people are constantly violating it. Who is the boss in a marriage? Couples admit there is a big drop in sex after marriage, so how can they keep the passion fresh? What are the secrets that lead to happy marriage? 

This is several facts and truth about marriage.
The first year of marriage is really hard. What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? These are all questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. Nobody warned me about the difficulty of the first year.
If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up, you’re not alone. Everyone struggles. Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Stick with it.
There will be one disagreement in your marriage that will never be resolved–and you will never agree on what it is! The earlier you identify and accept it, the better. Encourage your partner to do the same with his or her complaint.
You can only change yourself. This is as intellectually obvious as it is emotionally challenging. Important to remember when struggling with
You chose each other. Your spouse is the only family member you will ever select. Because it is a self-directed relationship, you will evolve together in a way no other intimate relationship can. This can be exhilarating, as when you establish new traditions and a new familial baseline. It can also be frustrating and scary: No roadmap, and the prospect of “de-selection” in the offing, however abstractly. 
Life necessitates trade-offs, your relationship and partner included.The qualities that frustrate you are intimately connected to the qualities you love.
The social fabric of marriage is lovely, but it is not what marriage is about. The diamond rock, the social approval, the identity as a huband or wife…. these facets matter but they are a distant second to the intrinsic connection between the two of you.
Be stoic about your own (no doubt herculean) efforts. If you want it done, do it and don’t expect praise. Yes, I am unfortunately thinking specifically of housework here. Reframe the task(s) as maintenance and improvement you do for yourself alone. This helps, because the corollary (3b) is: Don’t expect anyone else to notice what you do. For all intents and purposes, you are doing it for yourself!
The outside world sees mainly these secondary characteristics (#6), and is therefore apt to misjudge your relationship. Ignore their judgments.
A good relationship is made better by adversity. Again, not worth highlighting what can happen in a bad relationship. But I’ve seen plenty of on-the-fence relationships bump up a notch after challenges.
A spouse does not complete you. Jerry Maguire has brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. I had been expecting Tiffani to do something only God can do.
If you are empty, broken or insecure and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems, buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if you think your spouse’s job is to complete you.
Marriage is not for everybody.. Paul talks about this in Corinthians. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. Later, he says, “So then the person who marries his fiancee does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better” (1 Corinthians 7:38).
Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are almost consumed with finding a spouse. And most of the pressure comes from church. Once a person reaches mid-twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married.
Marry someone with similar passions and dreams. Of course, no two people are going to want exactly the same things in life. But some things are harder to work through than others. For example, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, tension is going to arise.If your spouse has similar passions, they will be able to understand your struggles and fully support your pursuits. There is much power in two people living life with the same goals, dreams and passions for life.
That’s all some of lots of Fact and Truth about Marriage that you have to know.

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