Woman Going Through Divorce
Is divorce advice for women different than for men?
While you might think that the best divorce advice would be the same for everyone, no matter their gender or circumstances, that’s not entirely true.
Divorce advice applies to everyone across the board: gather your documents, get some legal advice, put your kids first etc., etc. Yet some advice is either more applicable to women, or it is advice women need to be reminded about more.
Either way, here are divorce advice that women should know:
LEARN how divorce works As Soon As Posible.
Nobody wants to have to learn about divorce. But fear of the unknown is one of the most paralyzing and disempowering feelings you can have. The more you learn about divorce, the less terrifying it becomes. The more you understand what your options are, the more empowered you will be to choose the options that will serve you best. The saying that “knowledge is power” may be a cliché. But the reason people say that so often is because it’s true.
Take care of yourself.
If you want to come out the other end of your divorce as a whole human instead of one of the walking wounded, you need to pace yourself. You need to eat right, exercise, and get as much sleep as you can. Medicating away your pain with food, alcohol, chocolate, or any other substance, may make you feel better in the short term, but it will kick your butt in the long term.
Get a therapist.
Divorce takes everyone on an emotional condition. No matter how amicable or easy you think your divorce is going to be, I promise you that you’re going to experience more ups and downs than you would on a hundred mile an hour cab ride through the hills of San Francisco. Having someone steady and solid by your side as you go through your divorce will be invaluable. A therapist can help you keep your emotions in check and keep your head on straight.
You Cannot Change your ex.
Smart women recognize they can’t change their ex husband. They pick their battles, they let go of issues that don’t really matter or can’t be changed, and they accept with grace and maturity the general unpleasantness of an ongoing custody share — knowing this is just the reality of divorce.
It’s normal to want to have a say in how your ex behaves, particularly related to the kids. But save yourself the struggle. In a strange way, this step is about taking control of your inner life by letting go of outside control.
Some women do well after divorce, while others get stuck